Brent and I have been parents almost a year. This still seems surreal. I remember looking at each other as we loaded Ella into the car to bring her home from the hospital and saying, "Did they really just send her home with us....?" Neither one of us had ever cared for any child younger than a toddler before. I remember worrying I would break Ella. She was so tiny! But, we learned quickly and, eventually, being a parent got easier and more natural. Ella will always be the guinea pig...but I think everything turned out wonderfully. Here are some lessons learned from year one....starting from 10 working up to number one.
10. Be prepared for anything and everything. With a baby, anything can happen. If you are going somewhere don't dare forget all your supplies AND a spare change of clothes. Ella would inevitably have a major blow out away from home and we wouldn't have survived it without that spare outfit we kept in the diaper bag! You'll never be perfectly prepared, but at least you can attempt to be. And when things go awry, go with it...you'll be a stressed out mess if you don't!
9. Babies grow out of clothes so quickly...while the clothes are the cutest thing EVER, be realistic...they will probably only wear them once and you will be out the cash for good. Still working on this, but I've slowed down a ton on the clothes buying!
8. Every household with a newborn baby should have a baby swing. Without that swing, I don't think I would have survived the first 5 months. Sometimes it was the only thing that could calm her during her colic stage.
7. You know your child better than anyone. If you think something is wrong, it probably is. Don't let the doctor convince you that you're just worried because you're a new mom. If I hadn't been so insistent, Ella would never have been diagnosed with silent reflux and would have continued to suffer without medication. Be an advocate!
6. Housework can wait, she'll be grown up before you know it. I have said this over and over again on the blog this year. This is something I strongly believe. My house will never be "dirty" (it may be messy), but I am not going to miss out on time with Ella so that everyone can say, "Wow, her house is so clean." I'd rather have Ella look back and say, "Wow, she was such a good mom. We had so much fun and she always made time for me." This is something that is important to both Brent and me and we have embraced the family first motto in our house.
5. You should always feel sorry for a parent that says his or her baby has colic and be sensitive. Colic is extremely challenging especially for a new parent. Imagine having a child that cries constantly and there is nothing you can do to make it better except hold her and bounce her day and night. There were good days and bad days, but the whole colic thing had me questioning myself as a mother. What was I doing wrong?? Nothing-- Ella had a fussy stomach. But, at the time, all I could think about was that Ella was going to grow up to be an unhappy person that hated life and I was going to go crazy if she continued crying. It sounds dramatic, but until you've gone through it, you don't know how it feels. People would say, "I don't know what your talking about, she doesn't do that around me..." It made me want to scream and flip out!! I was in Dallas, TX without much help, Brent worked all day and studied for boards every night for the first three months. Most of the colic chaos was solely on me and that was very challenging. But, it did get better and now Ella is an extraordinarily happy child with so much personality. Things turned out better than we could have imagined....but STILL...colic stinks!!
4. Stick to a schedule and be rigid about it. Brent and I work really hard to make sure Ella takes two naps a day and is in bed by 7:30. The naps took a long time to become routine, but around 7 months it finally happened. I am a firm believer that a routine and schedule is the key to a well adjusted child. This is most likely the teacher in me, but being off a routine = chaos in my mind. Ella does really well with our routine now and is a force to be reckoned with when she gets off kilter. We enjoy knowing that she is getting good sleep to grow and that we can have some down time from 7:30 to 10:00 every night! Routines rule!
3. Exposure is key. In the first year, we tried to expose Ella to as much as possible whether it was a variety of books, different types of foods, music, toys, colors, objects....expose expose expose. We talk to her about everything and she is becoming increasingly "verbal" (in a baby way). I'd like to think that we've introduced her to many things in this great big world...but there is still much for her to do and see!
2. Parenting is no joke. Seriously. The day that little baby comes into the world your life is entirely consumed by him or her. Even when you are on vacation, you're still a parent. Your days and nights revolve around that baby. Your trips to the grocery store, going out to eat, running to the cleaners will all revolve around your little one. You can't have a grumpy day or a sick day because that little one is depending on you. You will sleep less, work harder, and worry more...but it is entirely worth it when you feel that tremendous love for your little one. But, parenting seriously is no joke and it's more than okay to admit that it's HARD!!!!
1. There is nothing in the world like the love you will have for your child. It is the kind of love where you wouldn't even think twice about giving your life for her. You couldn't imagine your life without her. To share something personal, there are times I find myself in tears, down on my knees thanking God for Ella. God has been so good to us. We are so humbled by this kind of Love. It's different than the way you love your spouse in that you know your sole purpose is to care for her, protect her, and give her the best upbringing possible so she can spread her wings and fly. It is such a responsibility and you want to do it perfectly. But, you'll make mistakes and that's okay, just try not to make ones that hurt your child. We pray that we raise Ella in a home where she knows God, unconditional LOVE, support, encouragement, develops compassion, and has FUN. We love her so deeply that we would do anything to make her life a happy one!
I write this like I'm an expert...and trust me, I'm not. But these are just the things I learned this year from our journey! Thanks for reading the blog and taking interest in our sweet Ella. There is so much fun to come, I can hardly imagine what this next year will bring! And most importantly, thank you God for allowing us to have this wonderful little girl to blog about.
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