Teaching Patience

Ella is 15 months now, but she seems to be 15 months going on 5 years old!  She's so independent, opinionated, and already knows what she wants.  I guess this has kind of surprised me...it seems kind of early.  She is now choosing which Wiggles DVD she would like to watch.  This includes showing her dissatisfaction if you dare put the wrong one on.  She also likes to pick out her own snack from the pantry and wants to be the one to choose the book we are reading.  She definitely knows what she wants and sets out to achieve whatever it may be.  Along with this "goal-oriented" behavior comes a trait that is difficult to correct at such a young age...Ella is very impatient.  She doesn't like to be kept waiting or have her valuable time wasted.  She expects her needs to be met the moment she decides what she wants.  She will follow me around the kitchen while I'm making her meals, snacks, or water/milk and go "eh.eh.eh.eh.eh" as loudly and as urgently as she can until she gets what she wants.  Like a drill sergeant. We tell her no and to stop...words I'm sure she knows, but she doesn't really care...she is bent on verbalizing our cue to get moving...ASAP.  A tiny part of me finds it comical (although I keep this from her) because I can't believe a child this young is doing this.  More of me feels a sense of panic...Oh my gosh, if she's this assertive now...what's she going to be like as a teenager??  I've talked to the doctor about teaching patience to a 15 months old and have done some reading too.  Apparently, patience is modeled and taught through positive reinforcement at this age. First, I  ignore any impatient behavior or say a quick "no" and continue what I am doing as if she isn't screaming at me at the top of her lungs when it occurs.  Here's the other part, any time she does anything patiently and waits, I praise her...and then praise her some more.  Sounds simple enough.  But, it made me realize how ironic it is that it's harder to remember to praise her for doing the right thing, but so easy to become aggravated and corrective when she doesn't do what I perceive she should do.  I need to work on this.  Don't get me wrong, she is praised and loved from the time she wakes up to the time she goes to bed, but I need to remember to really focus on the positive and ignore the negative.  When we can communicate with one another I'm sure it will be much easier (I hope).

This patience thing seems to be such a prevailing theme in our house.  While Ella is working on learning to have the patience to wait for her snack, we are working on learning to have patience when it comes to figuring out our long term life plan.  And I'm reminded more and more why the virtue of patience is so difficult (I so see where you're coming from, Ella).  I believe it's innately human nature to want things figured out and settled right when we perceive they should be.  I doubt many people enjoy that elephant in the room constantly reminding you..."you don't have a clue what you are doing..."  It's so difficult.  I think in the midst of this, as we figure things out, God is reminding us the importance of learning to be patient and to wait for an answer.  I'm finding myself relating to Ella in that I want to yell "eh.eh.eh.eh.eh" until a definite plan falls out of the sky.  But, I know that it's useless and silly.  God has a plan for us  and every day we are inching toward figuring it out.  We've sifted through so many options, made evaluations based on what Brent wants in his career, and are leaning towards a very exciting adventure.  This adventure will require lots of PATIENCE, but will hopefully be fruitful in the end.  More to come on that later!

So...I have been reminded that you have to live the virtue of patience to actually teach your children how to be patient.  We are blessed by this reminder that we must live what we preach.  If I want Ella to be patient, I have to show her that Mommy has to be patient too.  We continue to pray for and to work on patience...Ella will have to work on having the patience to wait long enough to let the Wiggles DVD load without a meltdown while we work on waiting to learn the plan God has for us!  Both scenarios are proving to be individually challenging.  Lord, help us to have faith and to be patient enough to know that everything will work out how it is suppose to.  And help us to teach Ella how to be patient as well by being good examples.

"I waited patiently for the LORD; and he inclined to me, and heard my cry." Psalm 40:1